Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the act of being aware or rather present in your thought at anytime, when involved in a conversation. It could be a difficult task sometimes, to gain a hundred percent focus, when having a conversation, because, our mind tends o wonder away to things that was pre-existing in the mind, or matters that where left unsolved. I would like to use a family setting to illustrate, how mindfulness, is very important. For a father of two kids, who are in college, and a CEO of a company, it would be better if he focus on the need of the kids, when he done solving office affairs to gain full mindfulness of the situation. From personal experience, mindfulness meditation gives me a feeling of obtaining a healthy mind and body from the attention and peace I obtained. Such feelings resulting from proper practice of mindfulness meditation is not limited to my own thoughts.

I used to be a pseudo listener:-)_question 1

According to the book, in chapter six, it explained the forms of nonlistening, it highlighted six forms people mostly engage, which are pseudo listening, monopolizing, selective listening, defensive listening, ambushing and literal listening. As I read through the six non listening forms, I understood when I usually engage in pseudo listening.  I engaged more in pseudo listening; any time my girlfriend was talking to me about some important issue for me to relate with, I acted as if I was paying close attention to what she was saying and later on, when she asks me, hey, emua, do you remember what I was saying earlier on, I tried to play around as though I remembered then, but actually, my mind wasn’t there. It took me a while to recognize that I was engaging in pseudo listening.   I learnt in a hard way, but I had to change. One thing she always tells me, “anytime I know my mind is on other stuff and she is discussing something important, I can always let her know, am not ready to listen at that moment”. It really helped me to change the way I listened, not only to her, but to everyone I engage in a conversation.

Listening is a 10 part skills_Question 2_9/24-9/30

From the article, I learnt that effective listening is an important tool in communication. Companies that have discovered the value in effective listening have added courses in this skill to their regular training program to analyze their personal strength and weakness. The ten guides to effective listening were developed through a study of 100 best listeners and the 100 worst listeners in the freshman class on the University of Minnesota campus. The first key to effective listening is to find areas of interest in the topic been discussed. Even though the topic might be boring and dry, we should listen to find out if anything said could be put to use.

                The second key to effective listening is to judge content, not delivery. A good listener will not be interested in the personality of the speaker, but rather focusing on what needs to be known. The third key to effective listening is to learn not to get too excited about a speakers point until we are certain that we thoroughly understand it. The fourth key is to listen to the central idea and not listen for the facts in every presentation. The fifth key is to be flexible and efficient note-takers.

                The sixth key requires one to learn how to listen attentively. The seventh key requires that one resist distractions. A good listener will learn how to adjust to any kind of abnormal situation, whereas poor listeners tend to tolerate bad conditions. The eight key state that a good listener develops an appetite for hearing a variety of presentations difficulty enough to challenge their mental capacity. The ninth key requires effective listeners to try to identify and rationalize the words or phrase most upsetting emotionally.  Finally, the tenth key states that effective listeners should capitalize on thought speed.  A good listener applies his spare time to what is being said. I strongly believe that one’s all these keys are applied during communication; poor listeners would easily transition into being an effective listener.

Hate Speech_week 4_Question 4

Hate speech are often offensive and deteriorating in its context. It is usually towards a certain group of minority, for instance hate speech could be directed towards the practice of homosexuality, a religious group, and it can also be used in our domestic place of work. Hate speech are mostly birth out of frustration, anger, dissatisfaction of people’s idea or needs, prejudice. The web is one of the means people send hate speech across. In my own words hate speech is a humiliation and demeaning slur of words specifically used to disgrace a person for their race, religion, or sexual habits. There is now a controversy if hate speech should be regulated on college campuses or not. I have read a few articles with the author being either for or against regulating hate speech. My opinion is that yes, we should regulate hate speech on college campuses. I believe hate speech should be regulated or censored on the web, especially when the new age is computerized and it is the medium people use in getting across information to be heard.

The melting pot...Question 1_week 4

The American society has being known to be a land of opportunities, where different people from the entire world can come in and freely express themselves in their diversity of culture. Going back into the history of this country, the colonist of North America migrated from the European continent due to the dissatisfaction of an autocratic system of governance. One of the major reasons for the migration was that, people were tired of being told what to do and how to behave, under one rule. For many years and today, America has being term to be a “melting pot”, this metaphor suggests that differences between citizens are supposed to melt down and blend into one unified character. It is still very much in vogue, because as a foreigner, it is very difficult to blend into the American society, understanding that the culture is entirely different from what they used too. A good metaphor I would have suggested is, “The American national cake”, which kind of flows with the metaphor”melting pot”, because it discriminates amongst those who are not citizens of the united states. The reason I would have suggested this metaphor is, looking at the present day America, everyone is struggling especially those people who have being separated from the citizens of the American’s society to have a piece of the “American dream”, promised by those in authority.

Identity Scripts_Question 3

When I read through chapter 2, it highlighted “identity scripts”, as one of the “self” that arises during communication with others, and choose to discuss about it. Looking at the definition the book gave, it says, identity scripts can be view as a movie scripts or a play script which means, a rule for living and identity. It also says it defines our roles as individual. Growing up as child, in my parents’ home, one of the key phrases I always hear my parent says to me was, “education is the key to success in life”. Even though that was true, being an adult, I found out that statement was not always true. Looking at most of the great achievers of our time, like Bill Gate, Zack (face book CEO), and Einstein, a great whole lot of others I can’t mention, they were at one point in their lives, a drop out from either high school or college, but they didn’t just stop there, they have to discover who they are and what they are passionate for in other to be the best in life. I guess they had someone dear or close to them, like a family, who would have told them to finish their education to be notable and be of relevance to their society. Drawing out from what the book also said, “Many psychologist believe that the basic identity scripts for our lives are formed very early, probably at age 5”, that means to say words are powerful; whatever we say can only generate two results in people’s lives, a good result or bad result.

What is Race...week 3_Question 2

Race is medium of which people use to identify themselves. Racial issues are an important part of any city in America today. America is a racially diverse country but still seems to have many problems as far as racial equality, race relations, and encouraging diversity. According to the book, the European settles used the word “white “or Anglo to separate themselves from the indigenes of the United States of America, labeling it as “superior race. It is very important for people to relate with people from the same culture and ethnic background, because they feel a sense of relevance amongst people from the same race. Why it is important to group people into different race or background, sometime it mostly discriminatory when people don’t believe or take their time to share the same view of other people from a different race. Most people are born into multiple races, for instance, I had a friend who said he was African – American and he said his dad was an African man while his mum was America. In the African culture that I researched on, I found out that, when a child is born into a family, regardless of where the mum’s race is, the child is only allowed to identify with the father’s race or culture. The censor’s bureau should allow people to identify in multiple races due to the circumstance at hand.

Men and Women of age 20 years..Discussion 1

According to the interview I had with a man and a woman 20 years older than me and also a man and a woman 40 years older than, they both had almost similar points on the issue asked on how a 20 years old man and woman was expected to be. From both points of view they said a man at age 20, is supposed to learn moral standards from their father while growing up. Most of the characteristics of a Father were to be a provider, give protection and lead the family. They said back in the days, when a man goes out to provide for his family, for instance, going to the farm, he doesn’t go alone he takes his sons with him to teach them how to be responsible as a man. It was considered inappropriate for an able bodied man not to be able to provide for his family. The women were known to nurture, preserve and prepare the home for her husband and the children. Based on the way women were viewed at their time, they were not allowed to dress inappropriately because they have to show some sense of decency to the younger one and also to gain respect from men. This attitude gave the young men and women a foundation to build on to live a purposeful, and a fulfilled life. In our present day, men and women of age 20 years have seem to lose some moral values expected of them. These generation are more attention seeking, neglecting the fact that there has to be a cultured way on how things are meant to be done and also knowing that whatever life style, negative or positive will have a lasting impact to the upcoming generation

I-YOU PERSONALITY

I-You communication occurs when we recognize the other as a person and treat her or him based upon a social role he or she occupies. I can relate this personality, I exhibited at my work place. I worked in the resource management department at my last job. we were in charge of screening and interviewing candidates that applied for a newly open position at my work place. one interview day, there was this two candidate, I was suppose to interview, while they came into the office, I offered them chairs to sit and I began the interview process. Meanwhile, I had the interview guide paper which I was supposed to hand out to the applicants, but I mistakenly give one of them the paper. During the interview, I found out the other applicant without the paper, wasn't responding at all because it was a group interview. I knew he felt left out of the interview, so I immediately gave my apologies and told both of them to relax with a smile on my face, that the interview process is going to be easy, and we have a nice time.