Launching Children

Launching children is the time of vital change for most parents. This is the stage when children leave for college, or those who are of age deciding to move out own their own. It is very difficult for parents at this stage to accept the fact that their children are matured enough to face life on their own. This is mostly on the mothers, because they get more involved in a child’s life from his childhood stage still when he is grown up. For fathers, they care for their own children, but would not restrain them from taking up responsibility for themselves.  According to the book, this is the time when young adult increase independence and self discovery. In chapter one, one of the needs of human’s according to Maslow theory, was self actualization, that is to say, everyone gets to a stage in life, when he questions himself or herself, “why or what is my purpose in life”, and at this launching out stage, young adults, want to figure that out soon.

50years from now_q2

The concept of marriage is changing rapidly and the idea of a man getting married to a woman is being under rated. People in this age and culture see marriage as two individuals living together based on some mutual agreement. The idea of lasting marriage is no more in vogue, meaning people can decide to opt out of any relationship, not considering the commitment and vows binding the union. I will predict a higher rate of divorce in the next 50 years.We recognize that these failures have been unanticipated and unintended. The divorce revolution set out to achieve some worthy social goals; to foster greater equality between men and women; to improve the family lives of women, and to expand individual happiness and choice. We recognize the enduring importance of these social goals.

Yet the divorce revolution has not brought us closer to these goals but has cast us at greater distance from them. Relationships between men and women are not getting better; by many measures, they are getting worse. They are becoming more difficult, fragile, and unhappy. Too many women are experiencing chronic economic insecurity. Too many men are isolated and estranged from their children. Too many people are lonely and unconnected. Too many children are angry, sad, and neglected.

family_q1

My definition of family is a union between a man and a woman, who decides to live together for better or worse, till death does separate them. Primarily, a family starts when a man marries a woman into his life and them both bear kids of their own. The responsibility in having a family comes with diverse notion birth from different cultures, and people practice, what the society calls norm, in raising their own family. The importance of family cannot be over looked, because a healthy society arises from a stable and functional family unit. There is a proverb which says”charity begins at home”. The idea of family is a unit of people who care, love and cater for each other. Always there to celebrate success and most time support each other through some difficult time. From the book, it talked about family who own their feelings and not blaming others for their problem.

Agape Love; God's kind of Love

What I found interesting in this chapter, is agape love, which is an unconditional love. Many a times, we tend to label love on the things we receive from people, especially in a relationship. Love itself, has to be sacrificial, it involves giving out one self not expecting the same measure back.  Agape love is the greatest amongst all other kind of love, but sad to say not everyone is walking in the reality of it. To have a fruitful, healthy and lasting relationship, both individuals must embrace agape love which is the love God has set for us as human beings to emulate. God is the founder of agape love, because He loved us so much that he gave everything to us, even His son Jesus Christ, what else he can’t give to us. That is love in action. When we love this way, the earth is going to be like heaven to live forever.

Q2

I have being in a relationship, where love was present, but no commitment. This happened when I was in my final year in high school. I was dating this girl since 9^th grade, and everything was going on fine; we had puppy love going on then. We talked about less important things, school stuff and where we would like to go for college.  In love, we both decided to school in the same location. When it was about time to leave high school to transfer to college, she then came and told me that she wanted to go to a different place to school because her girlfriends were moving up there and she didn’t want to be left behind. It happened, and we separated. That was love without commitment for me.

The other relationship had no love but there was commitment, because we needed something from each other. We meet in college and I needed a place to stay and she did too. We talked into getting a place together, and it happened. We started hanging out more but we didn’t share common goal. So whenever I did something contrary to her believe, she gets upset and bluff out her feeling, even though I didn’t appreciate it, we still had to stay together because of the commitment made.

In either way, love without commitment or commitment without love; don’t seem to be a good ground for a healthy and lasting relationship. Both has to be present, because that what makes people live healthy, happy and fulfilled in life.

online deceit_q1

I think it is unethical to misrepresent oneself anywhere, just for selfish or wrong motive. People, who do that, always have bad intention toward others in expense to their satisfaction. I strongly agree with the researcher, saying, there is greater deceit on online communities than face to face. A lot of people on online relationship have identity issue. They don’t really believe in them self in having a committed relationship with people face to face, due to the fact that, they may have experience some bad relationship, or hurt from other. Most of the reasons could include, inferiority complex, that is, they easily feel intimidated by others success or achievement, shyness, lack of self-motivation, depression, which leads to falsely identifying oneself to be who they really aren’t. A typical incident had happened to one of my friend, whom after recovering from a bad experience in her relationship to a guy she dated for 5years, decided to do online dating. She meets this guy on line, who supposedly claimed to be 35 years in age, and kept a picture to portray his youthfulness. My friend decided to hold a date with him, and later found out on the date, he was in his late 50ths, very funny.

Trust

Trust is so important in our relationship with people. The book says trust involves confidence with others. We tend to trust people, who have in the past or some point in our lives, shown some good will towards us. It is difficult to trust, when we have bad experience in the past, especially with the ones who are close to us. Trust also assumes emotional reliability, which is belief that a friend care about us and welfare. I remember a point in my life, when I needed someone through my trying times, I had little friends who I could reach via the phone, but they didn’t satisfy what I was craving for just without not seeing them. I appreciated the fact, that I had a family who loved and care for me, and when they came to my aid, I felt loved and cared for, not feeling alone anymore. It felt good to know I could trust my family member any day.

Best Friends_10/28-11/4

When I think about what makes someone a good friend, I think about all the characteristics of my own friends. My personal definition of a friend is someone who is always looking out for me, and will help me if I’m in trouble. A friend has to be someone I trust and who trusts me in return. Another important characteristic in a friend is someone who I can talk to, and makes me laugh. One of the most important traits of a friend is someone who will help you if you need it. One personal experience I had with this was when my friends, during my high school days, Caleb, josh, and I we all out driving around late at night. We were on our way home from going up to my camp at the lake, it was four in the morning, and we were all tired. I was driving my car and we had just gotten off the North way when I ran over a glass bottle and my tire popped. I didn’t know what to do. We had no money, and were stranded. Millions of thoughts were racing through my mind: what would I tell my mom, how could we get it fixed, and most importantly how could I stay out of trouble. My friend Mark called up his brother to come and tow the car. His actions that night made me realized that a true friend would take risks for each other. That to me showed that they really are committed to our friendship and they trust and accept me without judging they way the situation happened.